Am I Missing The Point?

Every year, it is tradition that my family and I decorate for Christmas the weekend after Thanksgiving. This has not been the case this year. Today is December 12 and we have yet to finish decorating. This does not seem to worry my parents the least little bit. We do have a tree up in the living room and that is only because I put together an artificial 7 foot tree myself. Yes, it was a site with me barely reaching over 5 feet myself. Needless to say, it is leaning. However, everything that is up in our house as far as decorations go is because I did it. I do not understand how this does not even phase my parents. Our mantle was changed from Fall to Christmas tonight because I did it. I could not stare one more day at Fall leaves and pumpkins sitting on my mantle. I have not had the time to decorate like I want. For me to work over 40 hours a week is not unusual. Plus, I am currently doing two Bible studies....free time for me is very rare. As an interior designer, the fact that I have not been able to decorate like I want to or like I feel I need to is driving me crazy. In fact, I got upset tonight as I'm trying to fix the garland on the mantle and it just will not work with me like I need it. I just gave up and said forget it. I have been wanting my house to be decorated since Black Friday. Today is December 12.

Maybe it's just not meant to be this year. Maybe I'm totally missing this point on the whole decorating thing. After all, why do we decorate? Why do we put a tree in our house? Why do we put wreaths on the windows and candles in them? Why do we string the garland with lights? What about that reflects Jesus? Does it? I'm not so sure myself.

And maybe instead of telling people that I still haven't had time to finish decorating my house, I'll tell them instead how much I love this time of the year...not because of all the lights and decorations but because I get to celebrate my Savior coming to earth to rescue me....yes, I think I'll do that instead.

As far as the tree goes, I think I'll continue letting it lean.

Forgive Them

Today I was putting the tree skirt underneath the Christmas tree at LifeWay. We already had Christmas ornaments for sale sitting underneath the tree. I was moving those out from underneath so that I could neatly place the red skirt around the tree. As I was moving the ornaments, one hit me. No, it didn't fall off from the tree and hit me. The hit was much harder than that. This ornament was a nine inch nail. Two words were simply on the nail. Forgive them. WOW. I just sat there for a minute blown away. I couldn't do anything but just sit there and stare at that nail which I was holding. This same size nail went into my Savior's hand. My Jesus who loves me so much did that just for me and His words were, "Forgive them."

I have nothing else to say. He said it all. I'm speechless.

What Am I Waiting For?

"Do you think that a woman with a husband, two children, a nice home, and two insurance policies is more satisfied with life than you are? Life is satisfying only when you diligently serve the Lord, whatever your circumstances.......Too many young women waste valuable years as they wait for life to begin-after marriage. They rarely realize the priceless free time they waste, until it is gone. Have you neglected some mission or ministry opportunities because you feared prolonging your unmarried state?" -Lady in Waiting by Jackie Kendall and Debby Jones

I recently drove by a house that's located in the same neighborhood as mine. It's an adorable white two story house and it's up for sale. It has gorgeous trees in its yard that change color every year around this time. Speaking of the yard, it's quite a nice size yard that comes along with it. I was driving to work one day this past week and the thought crossed my mind that if I was married that would make a great home for my husband and me. It's not far from my parents house which is my house now too...But then another thought entered behind it, "Is that what I want with my life?"

A couple of years ago when I was up at Liberty, the Lord opened my eyes through a series of circumstances and spiritual emphasis week with Clayton King (www.claytonking.com). I realized that I don't want my life to look like American Christianity. I don't want to get married, have the 2.5 kids, dog, and the white picked fence. I don't want to drive my kids to the Christian school in my SUV and go to their Upward basketball games on Saturday. I don't want that Christian bubble....I don't want to settle for that. Christ has called us to a radical life and that's what I want for me. I want to make an impact for the Kingdom of God.

I am currently reading the book "Lady in Waiting" which I referenced at the beginning of my post. I read those statements and realized that maybe I have put something off. I've always thought when I find Mr. Right then I will know my direction in life. If he wants to go on the mission field, then I will go with him....I'm up for it....or, I've thought that I will find a career job wherever we end up living. The thought has crossed my mind before about doing the journeyman program. To lay it all out before the cyber world, yeah...I've also thought well if I go overseas then that's another two years of being single. I won't find anyone in Djibouti. I haven't seriously looked into it for myself....maybe I will. I received my degree in Interior Design which is grand...I love it. However, I also have a passion for teaching. I want to go back to school and get my teaching certificate. I would love to teach elementary school or either high school math such as calculus.....I know...two totally different worlds.

So I say all this mainly just to have it for myself. I like to journal....let me rephrase that, I like the idea of journaling. I do it occasionally but yet find myself not doing as much as I would like. My hand gets tired of writing. This, I find, is much quicker and easier. I don't know what the future holds. I know that there's so much that I want to do with my life. I guess to sum up all that I'm thinking, I ask myself this one question.

What am I waiting for?

Quick Thoughts...

I'm waiting to title this blog until I have finished writing. I'm not sure what all this post will contain. I have so much in my head that is itching to get out.

This coming weekend Kellie Pickler is going to be performing at the State Fair. I have been planning this event with my friends for over a month...seriously, I could not wait!

Creative Designs is a design firm in the town next door. The owner asked me to join them part time over the holidays. Of course, I was estatic. I received a call from them yesterday asking me if I could work Thursday and Saturday. YES! .....oh wait, 12 to 5 on Saturday....umm, that Kellie Pickler concert...yeah, it's at 7...and the fair....I mean I wanted more than an hour to spend there beforehand. So Saturday is not looking too grand right now. Did I say that?! Of course not! Was I thinking that?! Of course I was!

Everything I have planned and prepared for is finally here....from my class in high school, to my 150 hours of FREE labor at Stone House Interiors...yeah, I called them out.... to my classes at Liberty and my student loans that I am paying...anyhow, you get the picture. It's finally here.

And I want to miss it all because of a Kellie Pickler concert....


I thought this blog was going to be longer but it's 10:00....more will follow later on...I'm exhausted and have other things I should be doing....

until I have time again.......

Why I Love Fall

I want to go on record and say that I just adore the season of Fall. What is not to love? The days are at the point where they are just gorgeous. There's no other way to describe it. You want to stay outside all day just because it's so beautiful. There is so much anticipation for me with Fall. I feel like it's the precursor to Christmas. We have Fall, but then we know what is coming after Fall which is the wonderful holiday of Christmas. I think that makes Fall even more exciting. You get to stay in the holiday mode for a while.

Things I love about Fall:

• cozy cool nights
  
• leaves changing color: red orange, yellow, green, gold...gorgeous
• the smell of leaves burning
  
• football
• hoodies
• chili
• pumpkins
• corn mazes
• mums
• the fact that Starbuck's comes out with the pumpkin spice drink
• pumpkin spice candles
• acorns on my walkway

The other day we had an interior designer, who I will be working with soon, come to our house to give us an estimate on a kitchen remodel. When we opened the front door, the first thing she mentioned was how our house looks like Fall.

My heart smiled.

Meetings, Pop Cans, Errands, Receipts, and Dirty Dishes

This past week was spent running from one thing to the next. It was one of those weeks where I felt like I could hardly slow down to catch my breath. I worked close to 45 hours between my two jobs and I was dog sitting in the town next door. Life became a race of trying to get from one thing to the next. I hope this isn't a foreshadowing of what's to come. I pray I find time to enjoy the moments of life.

There is this book that I have great intentions of reading along with many others. It is "Cold Tangerines" by Shauna Niequist. On the back of the book she writes as follows:

"I want a life that sizzles and pops and makes me laugh out loud. And I don't want to get to the end, or to tomorrow, even, and realize that my life is a collection of meetings and pop cans and errands and receipts and dirty dishes. I want to eat cold tangerines and sing out loud in the car with the windows open and wear pink shoes and stay up all night laughing and paint my walls the exact color of the sky right now. I want to sleep hard on clean white sheets and throw parties and eat ripe tomatoes and read books so good they make me jump up and down, and I want my everyday to make God belly laugh, glad that He gave life to someone who loves the gift."

I want my life to be like this. Lord, help me not to miss out on the little moments in life.

Identity Crisis?

So often I try to find my identity in things that are not supposed to identify me. I find that society pressures me to assume my next role in life. I've graduated from college so apparently I need to find a job using my degree, get married, go back and get a masters, find my own place, etc. etc. ect. Why do I continue to let these things influence my thoughts and actions? I find myself now that I am out of school needing to explain myself to people. Why do they ask so many questions?! More importantly, why do I feel as if I have to explain myself? I found myself today forgetting exactly who I am. I am not in school so obviously I'm not a student anymore. I am not currently pursuing a masters so therefore I am not as intelligent as my sister who currently is. I have no guys in my life so obviously, I'm not a girlfriend and no where near a wife. I have a degree in interior design but no "career" which means I'm not an interior designer. So who am I?


In the front cover of my Bible, I have something taped inside. My precious youth pastor gave it to me and it's something I cherish. Tears flooded as I read the first statement.


IN CHRIST:

I am loved by God (1 Thessalonians 1:4)

I am completely forgiven (Ephesians 1:7)

I am chosen by God (1 Thessalonians 1:4)

I am blessed with every spiritual blessing (Ephesians 1:3)

I am made the righteousness of God (2 Corinthians 5:21)

I am adopted into God's family (John 1:12)

I am raised up and seated with Christ in heaven (Colossians 3:1)

I am a new creation (2 Corinthians 5:17)

I am sealed by the Holy Spirit (Ephesians 4:30)

I am freed from the power of sin (Galatians 5:1)

I am delivered from darkness into light (John 12:46)

I have peace with God (Romans 5:1)


THAT is who I am.