What Am I Waiting For?

"Do you think that a woman with a husband, two children, a nice home, and two insurance policies is more satisfied with life than you are? Life is satisfying only when you diligently serve the Lord, whatever your circumstances.......Too many young women waste valuable years as they wait for life to begin-after marriage. They rarely realize the priceless free time they waste, until it is gone. Have you neglected some mission or ministry opportunities because you feared prolonging your unmarried state?" -Lady in Waiting by Jackie Kendall and Debby Jones

I recently drove by a house that's located in the same neighborhood as mine. It's an adorable white two story house and it's up for sale. It has gorgeous trees in its yard that change color every year around this time. Speaking of the yard, it's quite a nice size yard that comes along with it. I was driving to work one day this past week and the thought crossed my mind that if I was married that would make a great home for my husband and me. It's not far from my parents house which is my house now too...But then another thought entered behind it, "Is that what I want with my life?"

A couple of years ago when I was up at Liberty, the Lord opened my eyes through a series of circumstances and spiritual emphasis week with Clayton King (www.claytonking.com). I realized that I don't want my life to look like American Christianity. I don't want to get married, have the 2.5 kids, dog, and the white picked fence. I don't want to drive my kids to the Christian school in my SUV and go to their Upward basketball games on Saturday. I don't want that Christian bubble....I don't want to settle for that. Christ has called us to a radical life and that's what I want for me. I want to make an impact for the Kingdom of God.

I am currently reading the book "Lady in Waiting" which I referenced at the beginning of my post. I read those statements and realized that maybe I have put something off. I've always thought when I find Mr. Right then I will know my direction in life. If he wants to go on the mission field, then I will go with him....I'm up for it....or, I've thought that I will find a career job wherever we end up living. The thought has crossed my mind before about doing the journeyman program. To lay it all out before the cyber world, yeah...I've also thought well if I go overseas then that's another two years of being single. I won't find anyone in Djibouti. I haven't seriously looked into it for myself....maybe I will. I received my degree in Interior Design which is grand...I love it. However, I also have a passion for teaching. I want to go back to school and get my teaching certificate. I would love to teach elementary school or either high school math such as calculus.....I know...two totally different worlds.

So I say all this mainly just to have it for myself. I like to journal....let me rephrase that, I like the idea of journaling. I do it occasionally but yet find myself not doing as much as I would like. My hand gets tired of writing. This, I find, is much quicker and easier. I don't know what the future holds. I know that there's so much that I want to do with my life. I guess to sum up all that I'm thinking, I ask myself this one question.

What am I waiting for?